By Mandy Carter
I haven’t been watching the Winter Olympics as much as I have in the past. I don’t know what it is, but I just can’t seem to get into it for some reason.
It may be the weather. Tired of being cold and wet, watching people slide across ice and snow doesn’t boost my winter-dampened morale. I’m not a violent person by nature, but I’m going to shoot that groundhog. Then maybe seeing his shadow won’t be so earth-shattering.
We did watch a little bit of bobsledding last night, but the flashbacks it caused of hurtling down the hill in the pedal cart with Zoey made my stomach hurt, so I went and did laundry.
We also watched snowboarder Shaun White win the gold on the halfpipe. The tricks were impressive, and he’s amazing at what he does, but still, I was distracted.
“Does his mother know he’s wearing those baggy pants in public?” I hadn’t realized I’d said it out loud until Mike so kindly pointed out that I am now officially old.
Seriously, though, kids get sent home from school for that very thing. What if they’d fallen off in mid-air? Can you lose your medal for something like that? And the safety implications are mind-boggling. Can you stick a perfect landing with your pants around your ankles? Maybe that adds to the difficulty.
The next day, we were discussing the Olympics and all the new sports added over the years.
Kandra wondered what they’ll be doing in another 30 years.
I think I might have an idea, so I’ve started training for the Wii Olympics.
It’s brilliant.
So far, I’ve mastered tennis, three-point shooting, bowling and the three-day cycling event, though the six-day is still wearing me mighty thin. That one has its own training day, but I have found I can cross-train between basketball pick up games, archery, water skiing, table tennis and regular tennis, all without ever getting off the couch.
It’s perfect, because even though I’m just training right now, the crowd is already in place, cheering me on through grueling cycling courses even when I pedal smooth off a cliff. It’s inspiring.
That may be my issue with the Other Olympics, though. When they slide into the wall, fall off their skis or tangle their skates up with each other, they don’t just get up and keep going – they’re out. You can’t win a gold at the Wii Olympics like that.
I have no doubt the Olympic committee is meeting during commercial breaks, planning the upcoming Wii Olympics, so I don’t have much time to watch the Other Olympics. I’m busy with my own training schedule. I just hope I have time to improve my technique in golf, frisbee golf, archery and table tennis, because I plan to be right in the middle of the inaugural Wii Olympics, setting records and gathering medals without ever changing out of my jammies.
My Mii, however, will be looking mighty sharp.
